Pretend with me for a bit of time today. Pretend you see an old and weathered farmer, leaning up against the side of the barn with one leg cocked up, a hat pulled low over his eyes, a two-day growth of beard stubble on his chin, and a toothpick sticking out of the corner of his mouth. You can tell by looking at him that he has some wisdom inside, born from time, but you know from past experience that he keeps such wisdom close to his chest. He preferred to teach by example most of the time. Oh, one time he did give some great advice and I remember it vividly. I am not sure if the wisdom was his or he was just passing on a life’s lesson to the young pup standing beside him.
See, some of the best advice I ever got from my father was gifted to me from just such a scenario. He said, “listen more and speak less.” That was the message, delivered stoically and at such a volume that you had to strain to hear it. I think he did that on purpose because when you speak low, people tend to listen closer. The lesson stuck with me for a lifetime and I became an observer of life.
Today, that changes. I am leaning against the barn wall and about to give you the wisdom of a long life lived well, from one who watches but rarely speaks. Let me move my toothpick to the other side of my mouth and get started.
I have listened to people complain about being quarantined for several days now, and folks, I am here to tell you, I wish the hell someone had told me I had to stay home and not socialize with anyone outside of my family. When I was younger and my son was but a wee one, I would have given anything to have spent more time with him and less time working. At the time, it wasn’t odd for me to put in 10-12 hours a day, which left little time for being a father after you factored a little sleep into the equation.
Don’t get me wrong, my son grew up on a farm and he learned to work, had responsibilities, learned to think on his feet and learned that the animals were taken care of first. That is a very brief description of his responsibilities but you get the idea.
As I look around this country, I’m not sure everyone got the same type of start in life. So, let’s use this time in the house to catch up on some things that maybe collectively, we should have taught earlier. So, put the phones/pads/computers/watches or any other means of staying connected away for a while. Quit letting them raise your children and become an active participant in their future.
Teach them how to change the oil in their car, the mower or other equipment that needs servicing. Teach them how to wash clothes, darn socks, repair things that are broke but still usable. Show them how to change a flat tire and then have them show you how to do it. Teach them how to sharpen a knife and how to use it as a tool.
Instill a love for books by reading to them when they are young. Pick books that stimulate a young mind. Let their imaginations run wild and free. Later have them read out loud to you. It promotes an environment where their confidence grows.
Teach them empathy. That ability will be very important as they travel through life. They will not only be able to understand but also will be able to share those feelings others have. Have them pick up the phone and call an elderly family member or neighbor just to check on them. Watch their face when they are finished. There will be an awakening that you will be able to see.
Let them cook dinner, with your supervision of course. Build a big blanket fort, get the flashlights and pack some sandwiches. Get in the fort and tell tales of your childhood. Build whatever you want to out of Legos or Play Doh. Don’t go by a plan, just build what the mind sees. Show them how to balance a checkbook, change a bed, wash windows and more. There is no end to the things you can teach while staying inside. I am forever frustrated when I hear someone say, “home economics should be brought back to school.” While I wholeheartedly agree, when I was growing up, these were things taught by my parents, not the school. My parents assigned chores and we learned how to do them or we would repeat until we did. We learned to sew, mend, can vegetables, garden, hunt and gather, clean house, wash clothes, iron, discipline and self-discipline, and the list is never ending. I guess you could shorten it by saying we were taught self sufficiency and how to be a good neighbor.
Take them fishing when things clear up. I don’t care if you have never been. Go once and you will discover that going fishing has nothing to do with fishing and everything to do with togetherness and making family memories.
I think the point is, take advantage of this time to be the kind of parent that teaches and leads their children. You have the future of this world in your hands. Treat it as the most important task you will ever undertake in this wonderful life. It is not too late to change our course.
Richard D. Rowland
©2020
Richard is a two tour veteran of the Vietnam War, a 28 year veteran of the KY State Police and a 20+ year owner/operator of an equine facility in Kentucky. He is retired from all endeavors except for writing. He spends his time split between Kentucky and Maine, where he and his wife Jennifer care for her elderly parents, a horse, dog and three cats. When not writing, Richard mentors people diagnosed with cancer and other health challenging hurdles.
Darlene H
April 5, 2020 at 5:32 pmYou have vividly brought back so many memories of my childhood and my children’s childhood. You are so very correct, never pass up any of these opportunities! Thanks, wisdom in your shared words as always! ♥
Richard Rowland
April 6, 2020 at 5:38 pmHi Darlene and thank you. So glad you get it.
Christina Younglove
April 5, 2020 at 5:36 pmAbsolutely perfectly put Richard. I was raised on grandpa and grandmas farm and I did everything that they did throughout their days. When it was harvest time, my grandparents and my aunts, uncles and father helped the neighbors harvest. When it was grandpas time to harvest, the neighbors reciprocated in kind. Days were hard and long, but guess what-all were happy. You were too busy to get into trouble. We need a little more of this.😊
Richard Rowland
April 6, 2020 at 5:38 pmHi Tina and thank you for commenting. I appreciate your friendship.
Michelle Silvestrone
April 7, 2020 at 12:52 amYou are an inspiration to me & I personally admire your writing . I feel so privileged to have met you & be able to talk to you occasionally! Thank you Richard for also I feel mentoring me. Cheers & may you always be blessed with good fortune & health. Sincerely, Michelle
Richard Rowland
April 15, 2020 at 6:05 pmThank you so much Michelle. I too enjoy our friendship. Glad you enjoy my work. Richard
Cathy Bond
April 5, 2020 at 5:38 pmHi, Richard,
I can’t wait for the new book to come out, absolutely loved the last one!!!
Be well
Richard Rowland
April 6, 2020 at 5:37 pmHi Cathy, The new one should be out next month. Tying up the loose ends now. Thanks so much for your kind words
Carol
April 5, 2020 at 5:52 pmYou are a very wise soul. I am a child of 1952 and fortunate for the teachings from my parents and family. The children of this world need to know life’s basics from planting gardens, cooking, fixing things instead of throwing out and buying new. Families should be spending quality time with family dinners and games in the evening. I agree with you 100% and will share this link in hope that families will awaken a d become families with values again. Love to you a d yours.
Richard Rowland
April 6, 2020 at 5:37 pmHi Carol and thank you very much for sharing the message. Maybe, if we can get enough people on board, we can make a difference.
SHEILA M BURKE
April 5, 2020 at 6:59 pmSo true. Beautiful. Sharing ✌💗
Richard Rowland
April 6, 2020 at 5:36 pmBowing m’lady. Thank you so much
Jim Hodges
April 6, 2020 at 4:47 pmAs always, thanks for the thoughts and inspiration from your vast pool of knowledge and experience, Richard. We all need this at this tough time. You are always willing to give, and I am always blessed to receive it. Thank you, my friend!
Richard Rowland
April 6, 2020 at 5:35 pmSo glad you enjoyed it Jim. Thanks for writing your thoughts
Janice Tucker
April 12, 2020 at 5:27 amThis is such a wonderful article and well written. Everyone needs to read this and then read it again. Reilly important in this day and age & in the situation we are now in. We need to learn what is really important. Thanks for trying to educate us. I will send this on to many people I care about. Keep up the great work.
Richard Rowland
April 15, 2020 at 6:04 pmThank you so much for spreading the message Janice. I sincerely appreciate it. So glad you enjoyed what I write. Richard