Unspoken Message

Today was the day the ashes of my Father-in-law were laid to rest. He passed away in August last year and the funeral services were held the 22nd of the same month. His remains were cremated at his request and have been with us in the house until the ground thawed and the stone was set. It was a brief ceremony attended by immediate family and clergy only. The day was a beautiful sunny, spring day in Downeast Maine.

I initially wrote the words included below to my wife, Jennifer, in hopes of sharing my feelings at his passing and possibly easing some of the pain that comes with the seemingly finality that death brings. These words ended up being my spoken eulogy at the funeral. The eulogy differed a little bit as I verbally included mentioning the whole family, individually. What you will read is dedicated this time to her alone. May the pain soon ebb and the memories grow stronger. The attached picture is one of my favorite memories of his mischievous smile.

Bob’s eulogy

8-22-18

Bobby, I know accolades and emotion would be the last thing you would want expressed in your behalf, but today I will take liberty in your physical absence to do just that.

First, thank you for accepting me without question into this family these many years past. Second, thank you for raising your daughter, my wife, to be the free thinking, creative, artistic and loving person she became. It was due to this direction from you and your wife Arlene that she became the woman she is today. Lastly, thank you for your gentle, stoic nature. I found it not only calming during storms but a gift to emulate.

There is a saying that can be traced back to the 1850’s and utilized by mariners, sailors and the Navy as a farewell to brothers. Its origin is actually from two quotes that were combined to become one of the most used collection of words for a good-bye.

 “I wish you fair winds and following seas,” meaning may the wind be at your stern and the seas run in the same direction. As a Navy veteran, I know you have heard these same words many times over. Now they are gifted to you.

So, throw off the lines holding you in place and sail away from the perceived safety of life, catch the winds in your sail and discover. Discover the answers we all seek but must leave to find.

 To your family and especially my wife, please know that there are no endings in this existence, only new beginnings. The pain of longing will in time fade and loving memories of a life together will remain.

Fair winds and following seas my friend…thank you and journey on.

Richard D. Rowland

©2019

#Veterans #Navy #Sailors #Eulogy